Free Wear It's that time of year again when Microsoft dispatches its latest Ugly Sweater to The Register, and we spoil a lucky reader that makes us smile by sending you the garment in time for Christmas.
Compared to previous incarnations, 2025's jerseys are a slightly more sober affair.
There are three. The Artifact Sweater features a selection of Microsoft's Ghosts of Christmas Past, from the Internet Explorer and MSN logos through the strangely retro-cool Clippy assistant, and what looks a lot like a Minecraft Creeper. There's one celebrating the Zune, and another for Xbox.
We got our talons on the Artifact Sweater with its multitude of icons. It's almost like someone asked Copilot to spray a sweater with iconography, though if that were true, the result would probably also lack a head hole and sport three arms.
To give you an idea (pic: Microsoft)
While the packaging has lost the retro-cheese of the XP-themed sweater of yesteryear, this XL-sized garment is sealed and ready to put the family off their Christmas meal.
Want one, and have a UK address for us to send it to? All Reg readers need to do is speak their brains. Microsoft turned 50 this year. When do you reckon we hit peak Microsoft, and why?
Was it with BASIC in the 1970s? The Microsoft Mouse of the 1980s? The infamous Blue Screen of Death moment, live on stage in the 1990s? Or then-CEO Steve Ballmer's "Developers, developers, developers, developers" performance in 2000?
Or something else?
It's all rather Dickensian. One could imagine CEO Satya Nadella being visited by three ghosts: Microsoft Past, Microsoft Present, and the tattered remains of a popped balloon with the letters A and I still visible standing in for the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come.
In Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol, the Ghost of Christmas Past seemed to be having a lot more fun than the present and future, and it's easy to draw a parallel with Microsoft. For all the sweaty exertions of Ballmer and the company's controversial stack ranking policy, the Microsoft of yesteryear seemed a jollier place. Today it's desperately trying stick Copilot into everything, calling to mind Bob Cratchit hard at work while Ebenezer Scrooge looks on, obsessed with shareholder value filling his moneybox.
So, as the company celebrates its 50th year, take a look back at its past and ponder... over all those decades, when and what was peak Microsoft?
The Artifact Sweater sold out "in record time," according to Microsoft. But there's a still a way you can inflict some Microsoft festive fun on your nearest and dearest. Add your comment by the end of December 5, and we'll pick a winner and pop an XL Artifact Sweater in the post in time for Christmas dinner. ®
Source: The register